anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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