Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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