super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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