sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
