I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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