He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
