come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
