dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
