yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
