WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
