I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
