I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
