walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize