Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
