i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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