Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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