Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
