You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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