:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
