He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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