Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
