She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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