Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
