You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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