Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When are your genitals available?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize