And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
