I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
