I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Someone signed my nipple.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
