ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
