I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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