I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
