Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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