You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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