he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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