did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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