I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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