just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
