Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
