READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My balls are so social today.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
