Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
