i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
