mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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