those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
