MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I love you.
Bad choice
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
