I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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