HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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