dude i'm inner monologue high
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
