Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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