You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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