He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
