If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
