Its about making memories worth repressing
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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