I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
