Your tits are I can't wait for
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize