so explain again why im purple
no
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
