listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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