absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
