i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
