Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
