I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
